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Boys and Girls Clubs of Mason Valley

Happy Friday, happy Summer, and happy last week of June 2020!  Hope that you all had a splendid week last week. This week I have chosen to write about self-esteem. Self-esteem can look and feel different for many people. How it is addressed must be personalized to each person.   

Webster’s online dictionary definition of self-esteem: a confidence and satisfaction in oneself, self-respect. 

Self-esteem is how you see yourself first and then how others see you. At times, high self-esteem is inhibited by how you perceive how others see you and not truly the way that others see you.  If you see yourself in a positive, happy, confident manner then it is likely that others will too.  However, if you see yourself as weak or unable to achieve something, it can be difficult to believe that others view you in any other way you view yourself. 

Self-Esteem: The positive versus the negative effects 

Self-esteem plays an integral part of our daily lives. How we view and feel about ourselves is a huge component of our day life. Have you ever stopped to think about what self-esteem looks like? Not only from your perspective but from the perspective of others? Self-esteem in a positive way can have very positive results on everyday living.  

 High self-esteem might look like 

  • A happy smiling face 
  • Head held high but not in a gloating manner 
  • A relaxed attitude 
  • An individual that looks comfortable with themselves 

On the contrary, low self-esteem might look like 

  • A scowl or frown 
  • Head down with no eye contact 
  • Tense jaw muscles, balled fists 
  • Shoulders slumped 
  • An uptight attitude or scared and anxious 

Self-esteem is something that can change daily. One day you might have strong self-esteem and feel good about yourself whereas the next day you might not feel so confident about yourself!  So many things impact our self-esteem and can cause our self-esteem to weaken or lessen, such as 

  • Sleep       
  • Relationships 
  • Foods that we eat 
  • Even not drinking enough water can have an effect 

Self-Esteem: What does it feel like 

No one is less worthy than another, nor is any individual more entitled than the next. Everyone deserves happiness but finding that happiness can be a journey and plays a large part in self-esteem. Often, low self-esteem might feel like failure or a sense of inability to live up to others’ expectations. At times, those perceived expectations are wrong and we unknowingly continue to believe that way because we might fear asking or knowing for sure what the truth might be. The reality often is that the individual that you think perceives you one way that way really doesn’t.  Positive self-talk can help with changing your thoughts related to what others might be thinking.  Ask yourself, “is my belief that I am experiencing rational?” and then go from there.  If you believe it to be rational, then take the next step of deciphering if your belief is true or not by asking. 

Self-Esteem: how to build or improve healthy self-esteem 

Fostering self-esteem is so important. Set your own goals and don’t be influenced by others’ goals. Make them your own! Do not let someone else inhibit your growth since you deserve to grow and meet your goals. One way to foster or begin to build self-esteem is to begin to promote positive affirmation self-talk. Start by simply telling yourself each morning that 

  • I am worthy  
  • I deserve it   
  • I am good enough   
  • I can have high self-esteem 
  • I am brave 
  • I am successful 

Put positive sayings on sticky notes or note cards on your mirror and each morning and repeat those things to yourself each day. I promise it is a great way to start your mind down the path of positive self-esteem. 

You are worth it!  I hope that you have a richly blessed week and remember to BE GREAT! 

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