The differences and similarities when working with different ages
by our Hawthorne clubhouse director Juanita Diede
Working with different aged kids is awesome and I’ve learned a lot from both age groups. Working at the Club in Hawthorne, we have a good range of kids from the ages of five up to 13. This is a good thing, but it also comes with its challenges. Both groups come with their own challenges but they both also come with very rewarding experiences. It all really depends on the kid and what they are or aren’t used to and we try to make sure we’re keeping those things in mind when doing programming with any of our Club kids.
Our younger kids are always a joy to be around. I mean, who doesn’t like a happy four-year-old? What’s even funnier is the small children who have older personalities. Our small children are always so eager to learn, even about just everyday tasks and happenings. Younger children sometimes take a little bit to warm up to new people so being patient with them is helpful. Learning what their likes and dislikes are is also a good way for small children to feel comfortable doing things in a new environment. We see a lot of small kids who haven’t attended school yet, so they are not familiar with dealing with other kids or adults who aren’t their parents or relatives.
Honestly, I personally feel like most of the same things apply to our older kids too, though I do feel that sometimes we must be a bit more sensitive to their needs and what is happening around them. From my experience, as kids get older, they tend to keep things to themselves not knowing that what they are going through is normal and that others can relate to their experiences. I think both age groups need to know that people understand them and listen to them. Just asking about their day at school and listening to what they say makes a difference with both age groups.
No matter what the age, we all have bad days every now and then. I find that that smaller kids overcome bad days more often and quicker than the older kids. Smaller kids have smaller problems, and usually they aren’t really problems at all. They tend to be things or situations that the child doesn’t care for, rather than an actual problem. As the kids get older though, they do start to be in or even create actual problems that they must deal with and that can be interesting to maneuver depending on the situation. In both situations, talking to a child can help. The older kids tend to gear more toward not wanting to disclose things unless they trust you with the information. I always let our kids know that the Club is a safe space and judgment has no place here when it comes to being heard.
I personally feel that dealing with kids of all ages really depends on the kid. You must know their personalities and backgrounds to understand what will and won’t work as far as giving them instructions and disciplining them if necessary. If a child gets in trouble on a regular basis, you are not going to be able to get across to them by doing what everyone else does. You must find a different approach to help the child understand the lesson of right and wrong and why it’s wrong. When teaching right from wrong, you must be consistent. Here, our kids know that we expect them to be respectful and follow the rules and that we as staff will do the same in return so that we all have good experiences here. They expect us to treat them with kindness and we expect the same in return.
I always tell my staff to remember that even though they are kids and still learning about life, they are human. They have big emotions just like adults do. Most adults don’t know how to regulate those emotions, so we shouldn’t expect kids of any age to know how to either. We all make mistakes, and we all know what it feels like to be overwhelmed. It can be exhausting, and it can be scary. So, I remind our staff that sometimes it’s simply ok for a kid to be mad or sad, whether they are five or 13. We are here to help them understand and learn how to move forward, or even better help someone else do the same. Teaching kids to be kind to each other is probably one of the best things about working with smaller children and teenagers.