By Area and Safety Director Tommy Crowder
The topic of mental health is a tricky one, no matter the age of the person you’re trying to talk to. When discussing mental health with teenagers or even tweens it can be even more challenging as this stage of development comes with a lot of new emotions and changes and the ability to comprehend and master these new feelings isn’t an easy thing to achieve.
Unfortunately, a lot of teenagers feel like they are alone in their struggle with complex emotions and mental health and the staff at the Boys & Girls Clubs have spent a lot of time and effort in identifying some helpful tools to be able to reach out to this age group and get results. These tips and tricks should be utilized by parents and caregivers if you feel like your child may be struggling but should also be used as a form for checking in regularly even if there are no glaring concerns.
The first step to helping with a teenager’s mental health is to create a safe environment, this isn’t something that happens overnight but instead a constant goal that needs to be worked on, especially at home. Our clubhouses are second homes to many of our members because we provide a safe space for them to express themselves and be comfortable. A safe environment also requires adults who are approachable. Teens need to know that the person they are confiding in is someone they can trust, and someone who genuinely cares about them, older kids are very good at seeing through falsehoods, so I will stress that authenticity is the key to being able to create a bond with teens.
After a teen feels like they can speak openly to you, it’s time to actively listen. Active listening isn’t just hearing their words but doing your best to understand the emotions behind those words. Validation is important because teens want to know that they are okay with feeling the way they feel and always encourage them to seek continuous help whether that’s more conversations with you, seeking out healthy interests, or even more help from a licensed healthcare professional if the issues are more than you can assist with.
When all these steps are taken, it’s important to follow up and check in as much as possible without overstepping. Teenagers love their space and their boundaries and it’s important to respect that if you want to retain a strong relationship with them, but keeping the conversation going about their well-being is a good way of showing that you care.
My final piece of advice comes from years of working directly with teens and dealing with hundreds of different personalities and situations. I have always found it best to treat teens like they were my equals, never talking down to them, and most importantly being honest with them about any personal struggles I have had that might pertain to their own situation. I did this to reassure them they aren’t alone and that there is always someone in their corner that is ready to help.